Im not posting pics of my kids etc bc i do that on myspace and facebook and this is all mine. its all about me and is supposed to help me right? so don't judge! lol
also why on earth doesnt the iphone have a blogspot app, i can't find it and its really bugging me bc my iphone is my little security comfort thing right now and it would be so much easier to open my little app write what im feeling right at the moment whether its happy sad painful or embarassing and be done with it, have it out there and not have to remember and then when i get home in front of computer i forget! that way i wont have to bother people with always talking about it! what are the 5 or whatever stages of grief bc i think i was angry earlier and now i cant stop crying!
3 comments:
This should be yours! I agree, if the iphone doesn't have a blogspot app it should. Try searching IGOOGLE in the apps search. Blogspot is all part of IGOOGLE. I am not judging you or think your crazy, LOL. It seems hard at first...blogging....but I enjoy it. I find that it really helps me.
i guess because u don't know our exact history when i first start down to type i edit myself and then last night it was late i was angry and sad and laughing all at the same time and didn't care but after i did it it did feel so much better! and i do want to get all my thoughts out so i dont go crazy or bother the people around me with all my memories sadness and grief but mostly just heartbreak and i cant exactly explain it but that is how it feels sometimes like when we met he had a little piece of my heart immediately and now that hes gone its gone and i am no longer whole
ur blogs are so neat and good grammar etc! haha i just ramble dont use any kind of punctuation etc but thats how i do it! my brain runs faster than my hands can type! haha
man steve hated that! lol and that does make me laugh so much does and then i remember seeing him in that caskett and i hate that memory! i had to have it bc i had to show my support for mrs delia and to have some closure to see him there but i am still so much in denial! we always saw each other at random places! and i walk around some of these places seeking out his face. joseph and i actually saw him at leandros little brothers i guess graduation bc josephs cousin was graduating and we all sat by each other and i sat by him and even then even though my husband was right there i linked my arm in his and we whispered and laughed and everything was as it was! and even though i was so worried that joseph would be mad or jealous which i guess by that time he really wasn't i didnt care! i always had the need to touch and be close to him. it connected us even further! ok so now i sound like a psychopath who was in love with stephen and it wasn't like that but it was the closest bond to a husband and wife that i have ever felt. we used to joke that if we didnt get married by 30 we would marry each other and he would say but that wont happen bc eventually u and joseph will get back together and get married! ha he always pciked on me when i had ethan bc i had said i didnt want kids at all or at least til i was like 30 so i didnt screw them up too bad and he was like look at u 19!!! i hear his laugh and jokes in my mind as i type this and that hurts but it also helps in a way.................
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